Tag: love

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Accepting yourself is the only validation needed

About 10 years ago, I was standing in a trailer in the Arizona desert.  I was interacting with Eugene Albright.  He was telling me that everyone had the right to exist – as they are.  My body felt that truth.  He was the most brilliant and humble man that I had ever met.  Gene was more than a mentor and was sharing with me what he learned after his near death experience.  He energetically took me into that awareness. I accepted as much of it as I could at the time.  Accepting yourself is the only validation needed and when you do that – you realize validation is not required or real.  Validation is a concept, but you exist and you are real and you are acceptable as you are.  

This awareness came to my body again!

I was listening to a podcast called ReRooted.  Francesca Maxime was interviewing Tada Hozumi about identity, trauma and privilege.  About 35 minutes into the podcast, Tada was talking about insecure cultural attachment.  As Tada explained this concept, they referenced an example of “not feeling deserving of being here,” (specifically on Turtle Island).   My body reacted to their statement.  I had been walking while listening to the podcast.  I stopped moving.  I became aware that there was the feeling of not having the right to exist.  I suddenly was back in the trailer and Eugene was looking in my eyes saying people had the right to exist as they are – the two energies were crashing inside me. 

I saw the trees around me existing without this question. I felt the universe waiting for humanity to self-recognize and recognize our connection with the universe. The absurdity of validation was collapsing as self-acceptance further ignited.   I could feel what Tada and Francesca were talking about in a visceral way – at a root level…it was a deep wound for humanity. 

Accepting yourself is the only validation needed

Since we exist, we have the right to be here and self-acceptance is most important. Tada and Francesca spoke of how the body knows the truth. And I could feel that waiting for a seat at the table provided by others is recognized by our bodies as an uncomfortable and lesser space. 

How does it feel to you? You are here – you exist – you are not waiting for someone to give you a seat at the table they designed and may welcome you too.   Welcome yourself to the right of your own existence.  Accept yourself and how does that feel to your own body.  Is there any higher validation?  My body resonated with my acceptance of my own power! Validation as a concept dissipates in the presence of our own existence. 

For a journey into the energy of self-acceptance, listen to this meditative conversation that came from my experience on the walk. (Audio file or embedded video):

Validation is a concept, Existence is Real – Accept Yourself
Accepting yourself is the only validation needed. Validation is a concept, Existence is real – Accept Yourself

Links to the ReRooted podcast with Francesca and Tada:

For part 1: Episode 15

https://beherenownetwork.com/francesca-maxime-rerooted-ep-15-tada-hozumi-pt-1/

For part 2: Episode 16

https://beherenownetwork.com/francesca-maxime-rerooted-ep-16-tada-hozumi-pt-2/

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The Benefit of Seeing Each Other’s Pain

I was driving home and passed a small animal that had been hit and it was dead. My heart broke when I saw it and I felt myself look away and search for something to distract me from the feelings. I realized that I did not want to feel the hurt and sadness. I knew I couldn’t fix it and that made it unbearable. There must be a better way of dealing with these painful feelings. It was more than just feeling sad for the animal, it opened all the places where others are hurting. What was the benefit of seeing each other’s pain?

I wanted to go straight to the benefit!

Why – cause feeling this stuff sucks!

Some spiritual folks just jump to a quick fix – but I think it falls a little flat. They will speak about karma and life being a play. That when we die – we return to source and we are all one – so we were doing it to ourselves and it was for learning. And though the concept may be correct – do you feel better just hearing that? Does it resonate deep enough yet? What if we did not jump straight to the end and take the time to journey through this a bit more?

Have we received the benefit of seeing each other’s pain if we don’t look closely at it? To see from the top of the mountain, you have to climb it. To see the beauty of the valley, you have to spend some time in it. Understanding the beauty of both means that you have experienced both the valley and the mountain top.

What are the benefits of this journey?

First, the willingness to do it changes you. Then facing the denial, the fear and the guilt. Feeling the hopelessness and the helplessness – all allows the opportunity for the benefit of truth to come in. And that truth and compassion is what unites us. It is with us in the valley and fuels the ability to climb the mountain. Then the truth is not intellectual but a real part of our experience. This experience and willingness makes our hugs real, our speech ring true and is the supportive strength in our eyes as we look at one another. It is the benefit of seeing each other’s pain.

Listen to the meditative conversation or watch the YouTube video:

The Benefit of Seeing Each Other’s Pain
The Benefit of Seeing Each Other’s Pain

For more meditative conversations go to: https://destinationonelove.com/access-a-meditation/

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Self Confidence isn’t something you build

We often seek to “build” self confidence. We believe we lack self confidence. But that is not the case. The problem is that we have an abundance of unworthiness. What if self confidence is a natural occurrence? What if all the confidence you need is immediately present when you stop judging yourself? You can feel it in this meditative conversation. Self confidence isn’t something you build. It is already present and comfortable inside you when you shift your focus from unworthiness.

We can stop trying to build self confidence the hard way and let it arise!

The conversation dives into how we have placed our value in unworthiness! Guiding to the awareness of ourselves and others as worthy. But when we are in the hole of what is wrong with us, how do we get out? The meditation helps us dig out of the hole we dug for ourselves! And once out of the hole, we shift into wholeness. We stop fixing what we are not and step into who we are! When we are authentic, confidence is!

The difference is amazing!

I encourage you to listen. It is honestly such a relief to know that self confidence isn’t something you build. And how many hours have we been banging away at it, trying to find the right design. All along, it was about knocking down what we built around unworthiness. Confidence is present and alive in each of us – no blueprints, construction or designs needed! You are worth a listen and the world needs what you can do!

You Are Worthy
We don’t suffer from a lack of self confidence, but from an abundance of unworthiness.

Two other related meditative conversations are available at the following links:

https://destinationonelove.com/you-dont-need-to-fit-in-fit-others-into-you/

https://destinationonelove.com/being-comfortable-and-present-in-our-bodies/

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Do you spend time in nature or spend time as nature?

I am not sure how I came to see a tweet from Astrid Tontson but I am grateful.  My usual feed includes technology, AI, NASA, Ram Dass and cyber security.  And even though I have not asked for it – there are plenty of posts on Covid, unrest, and politics.   Then in the midst of all that is competing for my attention, was an amazing compelling (not competing but compelling) image from a photographer in the UK.  As I looked at her work I became even more aware of this question: Do I spend time in nature or spend time as nature?

What was it that was so compelling about these images?

We all have seen videos of nature scenes before, but there was something more in Astrid’s videos and pictures.  What was the additional element? Nature images are often relaxing and calming – but these were soulful and present.  It seemed the mist, the sunrise, the water, and the animals spoke through the lens.  Through her lens, you watch nature communicate to nature.  I watched the deer on the side of the water eating leaves and grass, aware of the ducks in the water for some time.  Then the ducks swam a bit out and the deer moved into the water.   It was obvious there was communication, pause, and spacing being related between species.   The deer had waited for the ducks to move. (Link below)

These scenes are rich in deep conversations that do not use words.

Astrid selects a single camera angle and perspective.  The camera does not move.  Her lens becomes my eyes and this single perspective takes me into stillness.  That simplicity and wisdom of angle establishes a perspective of centering stillness. But there is still something more. 

There was no separation!

When we observe anything – are we seeing it as separate from ourselves?  Whatever you are looking at notices you.  And it is aware of you.  If we march into nature and whip out a camera – animals scatter.  They just know.  But what if you went into the park as nature?  That is what is also unique about these images – because nature is looking at nature.   Awareness is looking at awareness.  Astrid is nature.  Her perspective, her lens, her approach is one with nature.  She is natural, aware, and allowing.  She is noticed and then accepted as she is not separate.  There is no separation!

She blends with nature and her lens is included in the communication that is happening from nature to nature.  As she is present and enjoying and appreciating what is – it opens to her and that is captured.  As I watch the video – I am included in that way.   Through her camera – I am not looking AT nature.  I am present to and in stillness with nature and as a part of nature I am being with that which I also am.  Separation disappears and I am a part of the scene and not just observing the scene.  This is because Astrid is in that state – blended with nature.  Being nature.   And nature communicates to us through her images. 

So now, when I sit on my porch – I am reminded that I am not looking out at nature.  It isn’t happening in front of me – I am not separate from the shared space.  I am BEING nature, still, aware and present.  

A thousand cameras can take a picture of a sunset – but on occasion we can see a photograph and we become the sunset.  Nature is inclusive – Astrid reminds me that I am not separate from nature and when in that space – soulful communication happens.  

Links to Astrid’s work and enjoy for yourself:

I smiled when I saw the title of her You Tube channel – check it out:  Soul Food! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkPvIUHVbWl6Sk6WyL_0YEA

The video of the deer and ducks is available in this tweet: https://twitter.com/Astrid_Tontson/status/1254332727010222080

You are nature

Just as nature includes you when you include it – you have that same ability to let go of trying to fit in – and fit others into you. Listen to this short meditative conversation to change the script on needing to fit in: https://destinationonelove.com/you-dont-need-to-fit-in-fit-others-into-you/

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The Beauty of Nothing Lasting Forever

There is a beauty in nothing lasting forever. Another way of saying it is: the beauty of an ever changing universe. To discover that beauty we have to let go of control. To do so, we face the realization that control is an illusion. We really aren’t in control. So what do we do then?

This meditative conversation takes us on a journey – you have two versions to choose from. The short version takes you to the edge of the cliff and you can look over. In the extended version you take a leap right over. The beauty of nothing lasting forever can feel scary to the mind, but it is freedom for the soul. Take the leap – the illusion is the only thing at risk.

In this meditative conversation – move into letting go of control and the acceptance of not ever having been in control. In the extended version, we move into the struggle that mind can have and the games it can play to hang on to control and then finally relax into what is and the beauty of an ever changing universe.

The Beauty of Nothing Lasting Forever or an Ever Changing Universe – Short version
The Beauty of Nothing Lasting Forever or an Ever Changing Universe – Extended

These meditations are also available on YouTube using the links below:

The Beauty of Nothing Lasting Forever – short video version
The Beauty of Nothing Lasting Forever (extended version)

For more meditative conversations use the following link:

https://destinationonelove.com/access-a-meditation/

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Being comfortable and present in our bodies

I was stretched up against the wall when my yoga teacher said, “The body is always present.” In that moment my mind opened and expanded. I understood more deeply how our thoughts stress the body and that the body is a tool to keep our minds present. That reminder lead to this meditative conversation on being comfortable and present in our bodies. It also helps you understand how thoughts of the past and future – stress the body.

I could walk into a room and be comfortable by simply changing one thing!

Instead of walking into a room and wondering where I might fit in, or what others were thinking of me, or listening to my thoughts about the others or myself. Instead, I could walk in the room in comfort and extend that comfort to all. The only thing that changed was feeling my body from the inside and being present to the body.

Listen to the following meditative conversation and enjoy the body you are inside!

You can also watch on Youtube using the following link:

A meditative conversation about being comfortable and present in our bodies

For more meditative conversations go to: https://destinationonelove.com/access-a-meditation/

Special thanks to Kathy (my yoga teacher) for saying so deeply and intuitively – the body is always present! Kathy @ https://ridethebreath.com

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Judgment warps your energy flow

Recently I decided to work on judging again.   I had already learned that judgments were opinions and not truth. I understood from experience that it reinforced separation and interfered with my awareness of oneness. I had even had the direct learning of how you could either judge someone or love them. That realization was profound on its own…as I realized that is how source looks at us. Source is not judging all we do but is focused on loving us. A very beautiful awareness. Unwittingly, I had considered judgment as “just a thought” – but I was to learn it was much more. In fact, judgment warps your energy flow.

The everyday moment that shifted my experience

In looking at judgment again, I had another unique experience.   While having some construction work done, the man working on my flooring had brought his nephew along to learn.  His nephew was not enthusiastic but was helping.  I actually had space for his lack of enthusiasm – in fact, I understood he would rather be having a “good” time and could not see the benefit of learning a trade at this moment.   Been there myself!

They needed just one more 2×4 and I had one in the shed but it had some nails in it and it would need to be cut with that awareness.  The nephew got the task…I mentioned the nails to him…he dropped the 2×4 on the ground…rolled it with his foot toward the large saw…continued to use his foot to adjust it on the saw platform.  Nudging it, looking at his phone, using his other foot to kinda straighten it.  I became concerned. He wasn’t really being observant and his adjustments were not accurate and he was turning on the saw blade!   In that instant – I thought in my mind, “You idiot! You are going to get hurt or hurt someone else – you idiot” 

Everything stopped for a moment – time slowed down. I was suddenly aware of many things at once.

There was my judgmental thought (which many would agree with) and it felt so right!  It was dangerous what he was doing after all!   However, the judgment wasn’t dealing with the danger. It was framing him as an idiot.   I could see and feel an energy coming from my body and it was surrounding him with aggression/anger.  I felt it moving through me and thought – what do I really want here?   My answer was that I wanted him to be safe and not get hurt or hurt anyone.   The energy flow stopped as I noticed it.  

I shifted my thinking to: “I support your safety and wisdom as you work.” Suddenly, the flow of energy was so much more dynamic!

Instead of a warped and aggressive pushing from my own energy; the energy shifted to support and surged to 100% stronger! It came into my body and flowed through me. The energy felt good to my body, it was so much richer and flowed at a totally different rate and did not attack him though it did surround him. His shoulders softened and he adjusted the wood differently and was mindful of what he was doing.

The realization – Judgment warps your energy flow!

I realized how judgment is way more than just a commentary of thought.   It can also take a good intention and warp its energy flow.  It depletes me of my own energy and baths me and others in discordant energy.  Judging is such a waste of time and costs too much.   This new experience was an extension on how to love others and did even more to include loving me. And, quite efficient on the use of energy!  When you realize how judgment warps your energy flow and feel the difference- it is amazing! Being non-judgmental and continuing to pursue new levels of release is a gift to yourself.

Judging others reinforces our separateness from our own being and therefore reinforces our separateness from all beings. …

-Deana C
Jugment can block our path
Judgment warps your energy flow – arghhh – now we are stuck on the road! LOL!

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Oneness and the Ego’s Loneliness and Fear

So here I sit, in a state of oneness and noticing my ego’s loneliness.  Oneness seems lonely and horrible to it.  It is a ghastly feeling and I wanted to understand and sit in it.   It was so sad and disappointed – nauseous at the discovery that there was no one else out there…. It wished I had never pursued this concept of oneness.   Now, there was only me…and everything else was make believe…oh it was better when there had been the belief in others… it was bereft at the realization there was only a lonely one.

…. Now I would always know the real world was not real and there was no fixing this….

Then I focused again on the oneness and in that space….the fear relieved.  The mind had seen oneness as a single thing – still separate from all that is… but in the oneness…there was no separation – no desperate aloneness.   Everything was a part of oneness, you, me, sky, earth – all that is … as one…nothing was alone or separate.   It was beautiful to be the one…it was not lonely.  The concept of separation was the tripping point for the mind. 

The ego mind also did not trust the universe… well, there was a little trust, but only if everything was going nicely.   How do you trust when things are going wrong?   The mind new the pressure of making perfect decisions…trying to get everything right so things went as best as possible.  It also realized it wasn’t in control enough of all circumstances and knowledge to handle that job….so it was left with the feeling of pressure without the ability to always succeed.   This was a miserable space as well.   Its only hope was to trust the universe and it really did not trust the universe….since it did not have a guarantee of control and all things working out ok.  

Focusing again in the state of oneness… all was ok.  Trust was there as I was a part of the universe.  I was not separate from the universe, so trust was also trusting in what was the real me.   But the mind was quick to respond… but what about all the things we see happening… when people are hurt or attacked or the list goes on …about circumstances that people endure.  

I returned to focus on oneness…the answer this time was not as satisfying to the mind but still transformative for the mind.   Here the answer was to merge deeper into the trust and the oneness…. The answer was there but beyond the capacity of the mind to rationalize.   I sat in the answer… and even though the mind was not satisfied with a sentence it was transformed a bit more from the space of trust. 

The difference in the ego mind and oneness – is that oneness can function comfortably in a state of the unknown and with the presence of truth that cannot be verbalized.   The mind is not super happy with that aspect.  But I am not the mind, so I can continue to function. 

My day became more peaceful – the mind was not completely at ease – tossing up a few more what ifs based in fear of loss…It came up with a juicy one!  “What happens if you lose your attachment to yourself?!”  I stop for a moment.   It follows up…”Anything could happen to you then!”   I feel into the vastness of that possibility and the groundlessness of it.  Whoa! I smile and say… “Yes!”  The mind was not happy about that future.  Don’t worry mind, you’ll still have a function.  But you were never created to be my antagonist. It was how you were trained – how society and I helped form you from the concept of separateness.   However, you exist as a function and so we will work toward that renewed place together. 

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The Acceptance of an Undemanding Universe

The experience:

I had just been centered for quite some time, listening and watching some of my thoughts.   I noticed that they had a theme of fear and worry.   And they were subtly demanding things.   Not in a harsh way, but still statements like – I need this or that by a certain time.  The thoughts were not angry, but worried or concerned.   I still recognized they were demands.   Then I realized – the demands came from a place where I needed something from the other (God, universe, people, or the economy).   I realized they were rooted in the idea of being separate.  I am over here and it is over there and I need it.   And I could logically say, “well, isn’t that true… It is outside of my hands – I can’t give it to me – the other has to do that”.   It was a solid belief that I was separate.  However, I am not separate so this belief (though it felt so true -provable- believable) was not real. 

This realization of not being separate was so deeply felt – that I instantly saw my whole life come up and a barrage of lifetime images rolled through my awareness of subtle and not so subtle times that I had demanded of others, God as I knew it, and myself.   I couldn’t sit still. I started to shake and let out a moan.   I jumped out of my chair and started running through the house.  I stopped to shake, then started running again. I came to a wall and gently bounced into it while moving and turning.   The sounds still came out of my body.  After a bit, this subsided.  More awareness came to mind of how I am not separate – how my requests and statements do not have to be a demand.   I can state what I believe I need.  Since I am not separate from all that is (source) – well – then of course I want the best and highest for me.  Then, I let it go and trust.   Yes, that is the hard part.  

The problem:

As soon as I do that my mind starts ranting what ifs! I am being real here.  Of course, my mind wants to solve it yesterday – financial needs, personal desires, health issues – there is a list of hopes, desires and needs that rise up from the mind – still insisting that I am separate.   All these years of looking at the world from the separate perspective doesn’t just vanish – but I do have the new deeply felt awareness that this is an old way of living.   Shifting this perspective is part of the journey too.  

It defies the mind – literally defies it.  I can’t minimize this aspect.   It was the opposite of what I knew according to my experience.   I believed the lie so deeply; it was all that I thought I knew.   And, I can be stuck in that for as long as I want. This awareness came with the next realization about the total acceptance of an undemanding universe.   The universe does not demand that I change my mind.   It fully supports my right to choose and create my world.   Crap! There was something so beautiful and comforting about things being out of my control – being separate – being at the mercy of whatever.   At least, I tried to achieve X and it was beyond my control if I couldn’t get it.  And this new way of thinking – of not being separate landed me back in the same place in a way – to let go of demands and control and trust.   It is the same place but with no one to blame – no circumstances to fault.   No deniability. 

The answer:

The acceptance of an undemanding universe is teaching us the way.   The universe allows me to roll in it – to stay in fear and worry.  It doesn’t demand that I give up separation.  But then I live the life of that belief.  If I choose to release it – then I accept a level of power I have always had but wasn’t using.   But that power is not structured as I have understood power.   The power of letting go of control is different than the power and safety of being controlled or controlling.   Acceptance is one of the keys that opens this power.  Accepting that you have it, accepting that your mind and ego doesn’t control it for its own uses.  Accepting that you are more than your ego and mind – and that is why it cannot control it – the ego is limited.   Accepting there is nothing to blame.   Accepting that things may not look as your mind wants it too.   Accepting that you are safe even when you don’t have all the answers. Accepting moving into a power flow that is working for you but that you do not always understand.   Accepting you are more powerful than your mind can understand when you don’t micromanage outcomes.  Accepting that you love yourself and as a part of source you are operating for your highest outcome.  Accepting that power is not control.  Accepting confusion.  Accepting the role of participating in your own power and letting go of the safety of demands.  And even as you do this – it is not then suddenly you are to blame! Can you accept that?   Even as you move into this space, there is not blame – just learning what works and what doesn’t.  That you are not powerless or separate and that being one is about accepting more and more and demanding less and less – not even someone or something to blame.  Oh, the amazing love, power and acceptance of an undemanding universe.  

The ego or mind has many questions for a love this big.  The questions feel so real and right – yet they come from an inability to accept and understand.   In those moments, we accept the question and love is the answer.   That doesn’t always satisfy the questioner, but it does answer the question. 

The universe completely accepts you and demands nothing of you.  What does it know to function in this manner?   And when we join the power of that flow, how does that change our function within it and with one another? 

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How to love the world in one easy step! I know – RIGHT! But it turned out to be incredible…

I was sitting at the dining room table and feeling love. I imagined certain people in my life and was loving on them. I said to the universe… I would like to love the world… but would it blow my circuits? …I don’t know – Is it something you work up to – build your capacity to handle?…like I said… I don’t know….. so I started imagining the world in front of me and sending it love….So I asked God/Universe… how do you do this? God patted its knee – for me to sit in its lap… so I did… and God closed its eyes and emitted this sound – this pure, strong and even tone for a second or two… I opened my mouth and eyes in that surprised way a child does…God nodded yep…

I realized that God is loving us all – all the time. Making that tone continuously – all the time.

I wanted to try…. so I said… now, loving the world means not only just loving people that are “good” – that is easy… how do you love the ones that hurt others…do things beyond our human ability to understand or accept… how do you get past that?… what do you think or what space do you get into?…. God laughed… then gave me a soft shhhhh… and shook that great head and said…. JUST BE LOVE….

Ohhhhh … I said… then I closed my eyes and absorbed into the tone.

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